what more could we ask for?

one of those days when you look on the world through clear glass [cant afford coloured lenses, which is quite de rigueur in dobuy]. a day when a cricket legend made it worth getting up at the crack of dawn [on a friday 9 am IS dawn] for this cricket leg end.


given our cricketing heritage [familial and place of origin] we tend to take cricket at a somewhat closer-than-arm's-length distance. and while we have not had the fortune of meeting the truly greats, meeting dave whatmore today was for us a grand experience. and what made it better was his knowledge of our native area!


our thoughts flit to ranji, vinoo, allan, michaels, colin, ian and gordon [amongst others] this day! when in dobuy, be a chinaman!!

conditioned air!

on a day of general gloom and cafard-ish muses came a dollop of sunshine - the ancestral demense is now air-conditioned! conditioned air has always been a quest for that part of mankind that inhabits sudoriferous climes, but we never really felt the need, even in the sandy vastness of dobuy. however, a recent downgrading of the pater's health parameters back in the native necessitated this installation and we are feeling quite chuffed!


as always this triggered a train of thought leading us to speculate on conditioned air processes over the centuries. the aztecs and other tribes closer to the big bang than current specimens went au naturel with just the jollies hidden. further away from the big bang the japanese - that race of aggressive portability - came out with the foldable hand-held fan [the akomeogi] which like all good japanese things made its way round the planet. victorian england was quite a fan of fans as evidenced by several dozen images of queen vic clutching them.


in the native, where the heat, to the gora-sahib, was akin to the heat of the big bang, the fan was at once a symbol of royalty, a languid show of grace and a tool to cool. the pankha came out of british bengal and soon was a status symbol.


here in the sands we condition air from the loo to the blue! our tourist pitch to lure unsuspecting friends and family is: 'ac to come to dobuy and ac to stay'. paradoxically, in our humble dacha we have the con on at full tilt and use a thick quilt to keep warm [the duality of the gemini...!]


now that the guv is about to become a cooler dude [was always a cool one!] we raise a glass of chablis and wish him a rapid recovery! santé!

the art of uncorking champagne

we never stop learning. especially where spiritual quests are concerned.


this tutorial from the telegraph, london: with the festive season going on people have lots of reasons to pop that bottle of bubbly and now scientists at Coventry University have developed a mathematical formula which enables people to uncork the bottle without wasting even a single drop of champagne.


the formula, which has been named "smith's law" after its founder, dr. steve smith, is p = t / 4.5 + 1, where p stands for pressure and t indicates the temperature.

it is based on the well-known fact that the pressure in a typical bottle of champagne at room temperature is equivalent to the pressure of a double - decker bus tyre.
as per the formula to stop the cork from flying off, the temperature of the liquid should be between 5C and 7C, which means that the pressure will be 2 to 2.5 atmospheres, a third lower than when the bottle is at room temperature.
the researcher says that keeping the temperature right is the most important thing as if you get the temperature right, the pressure will be right and you will be able to enjoy the champagne at its best.

bertie will be pleased methinks. 

since we are a four letter word...

...we like four letter stuff: food, book, trvl, quiz, wine, gals, cars, wrds, four, bars, moms, pops

herbie at 1

the proverbial 'how time flies' context - herbie is already a year old! actually the whole saga of driving lessons, road tests, acquiring the license and herbie's arrival  into our life is worthy of a story at least! but we shall spare our readers the trauma - suffice to say that dobuy is not the easiest place for indians to get a driver's license - used as they are to considerable 'license' in the system back home!


herbie came home at 7 pm on 28 july 2009 and we missed a turning on the drive home. went about 10 kms out of our way before we could find an exit to turn back! guess thats what happens when you dont take time to understand the other part of the duality - we took just 10 mins to approve her and it was not exactly love at first steer!


the first 1000 kms were driven at a stately 80 kmph so that she could get her RPMs in order. then came october 2009 and daily trips to abu dhabi for a project. 15 days and she clocked up 3000 kms without a grimace. and thats when we fell completely for her. dusty, scratched and her first bump but she drove like a dream! and still does. and now 30,000 kms later, she has a few more bumps but her song is as sweet as the first day! and the last 12 months for us have not been the same!


so happy bday herbie! you make our days and most nights comfortable!

would-be writers and anticipated blocks

we have been toying with the idea of writing. not with any specific aim but more to check if what people say about our skills is true or not. rather gratuitous thinking we agree. if we are unable to manage a blog, how can we manage larger tomes. but perhaps the challenge is within rather without. a good writer, or so we are told, is disciplined enough to churn out x pages / words per day. but to our naive sensibility, that seems a paradox - why discipline something that depends more on free thought?

however as a consumer of much and varied literature, we  can appreciate that a certain order of the thought process is mandatory for the world thrives on order. systems. processes. hence word-processor, and not word-originator! and we also realise that for writing to be productive [read paying] systematic output is the norm, rather than discrete outbursts during momentary calm periods in an otherwise frenetic life! and perhaps inculcating this as a habit willhelp enforce order in our working life.

a post a day - doesnt seem much does it now?!

fits and starts

like the trabants of old, our blogs appear in fits and starts :) rather than identifying cause we would rather check the effect - our audience is deprived of updates from the sands of dobuy!


work, holiday plans, general inertia and le cafard - reasons four why the posts don't pour!


let us hope the clouds part and the blogosphere is enriched with our humble offerings.


till then, festina lente!

things we would not want bill s.peare to hear

over 4 years in dobuy we have heard various musical and grating renditions of the queen's language, especially by the gentlefolk from the more rugged and lawless parts of the land of the pure.


we have also read written renditions which would make himmler writhe in horrendous wonder.


but this line gleaned from that fine flag-bearer of the language - the letters to the times page - made us blanch,  twist, shudder, groan and entertain homicidal thoughts about the writer, especially since he is from our land - the last bastion of english "as she is spoken" after the motherland:


"I am **** from india very accept when I hered about this news.this was the worst crash in libia.I just pray for victims family."


we salute the writer's sentiment, obviously heartfelt. we do not condone his mangling of the language. men have been decapitated for less.

mister lotus!

a lady friend has suggested that we apply for and acquire a native civilian award. pertinent to note that the action to be taken is in the form of an application rather than wait for the bell of destiny to toll! such is the state of affairs in an hitherto peerless recognition. we do not wish to sound like mr. mehta so shall avoid the puce-faced pontification at this juncture.


we were happy to have had the conversation with our lady friend - left us en bonne humeur after a trying day at the shop. we earnestly hope these conversations continue apace and that a viva voce is imminent!


what say lady friend?

some more things we love reading post-lunch

varenicline is a partial agonist of the α₄β₂ subtype of the nicotinic acetylcholine receptor. in addition it acts on α₃β₄ and weakly on α₃β₂ and α₆-containing receptors. a full agonism was displayed on α₇-receptors.^[4]

acting as an agonist varenicline binds to, and partially stimulates, the receptor without creating a full nicotine effect on the release of dopamine. varenicline also competitively binds to α₄β₂receptors blocking the ability of nicotine to stimulate the central nervous mesolimbic dopamine system.

indeed.

whither mid-life crisis...

some people suffer MLC, some acquire MLC and some have MLC thrust upon them.
our question: when life has not commenced, whither MLC?
but we do seem to be displaying certain traits which could be classified under MLC:
- irritability
- inability to sustain or start meaningful relationships
- lack of focus
- no interest in previously enjoyed hobbies / pastimes / activities
- emotional coldness
- feeling of being overwhelmed at work or in personal situations [feeling out of control]
- inattentiveness
- sexual frustration
- lack of motivation


so what do we do with all these decidedly inelegant trappings? so far we have favoured escapism - preferring our own company, refusing opportunities for social outings, staying indoors with a book, auto-satisfaction... we also sometimes wonder whether we are like this due to tiredness, getting into situations or mindsets that create angst / torpor / feelings of inadequacy. we find ourself getting increasingly bogged down and stuck in a mindless routine that adds no value to our life.


we sometimes feel we need a goal. a focus. perhaps this should be explored.
the reason this post is in a blog on dobuy? our current lifestyle and situation emanate from our work conditions. which are not to our liking.


we will explore this further...

Double-O Say When!

we scan the news of an afternoon, primarily to ward off post-prandial drowsiness. current headlines caught our attention:

latest news

FREIDA PINTO TO BE A BOND GIRL

 [elle uk, 22/3]
then the next headline came in:

Freida Pinto’s not the Bond girl…yet

[masala.com, dubai, 22/3]
felt fleeting sympathy for the pore gel. mean to say it cant be pleasant to be on the edge like this all the time! P is not to B? 007 we wait for confirmation, our pulse racing slightly...!


but we are quite amazed that this gal-next-door [chinchpokli not santa monica] has actually managed to reach this far on the strength of one movie [which we resolutely refuse to watch]. we are the last one to carp about looks but we might be driven to expand vociferously where this one is concerned. the rosetta stone looked better. and we thought that Mr. B preferred a certain high level of oomphiness in his female companions! we were further saddened to hear that FP is a l'oréal girl.


are there no standards anymore?

better latex than never...

read in the times: "...says Jagdish Upadhyay, who is in charge of managing condoms for the UNFPA". from m.d. to m.c. - stiff competition? could be useful for elections in china...! 
we only hope the gent is a user too!

got to have java now…

this is what oxford boffins do on their tea breaks [reported in the daily mail recently]:

if you are among those who desperately need a midmorning coffee break, then go for it at 11 a.m., as scientists claim a formula they have devised proves that 'elevenses' is the best time to drink your brew. the oxford university research also shows that a tasty americano is not the only requirement — lights, music, aroma and good company need to be added to the mix.

the experts developed the formula (M = 0.5 x F + (0.5 x E + 0.3 x P + 0.15 x C + 0.05 x T) by combining various factors such as great flavour (F) with the perfect environment (E), the container it comes in (P), who you drink coffee with (C) and the time of day you enjoy your coffee break (T) to create the most enjoyable coffee moment (M).

after applying this formula, the scientists calculated that 11am seemed to be the best time to have a coffee break, in a well-lit room with friends and nice music in the background.  prof. charles spence, from the department of experimental psychology at oxford university, who led the research, said: "the formula describes how to create the perfect coffee moment at home or at work. we have known for some time that our taste buds are a vital part of the taste experience. however, we can now pinpoint the exact sensory conditions required to enjoy coffee, or any other food and drink", he said.



thought the frogs would have got this first…!

ali in wonderland

we were thinking, and having thought, our twoughts [tweets in the mind] turned to this topic.


we do not presume to tinker with established literary output! however certain fables could do with a brush and touch-up, and lewis carroll would no doubt approve when we adapt his fable to a new-age 'foible', to wit dobuy…!


'tis truly a wonderland:

• world's tallest building
• world's largest indoor ski slope
• world's largest artificial islands
• world's most expensive hotel
• world's largest theme park
• world's largest shopping mall
• world's first underwater luxury resort
• and the clincher: the only city in the mena region with 2 baxis!

no wonder your average lad would feel lost in all this!

matrimo[a]ny

we are writing in angst, frustration and a large dollop of cynicism.

our attempts at converting the marital status of a deserving woman have so far come to nought. fair and not-so-fair eves have united in their unwillingness to link their lot with us and the reasons thereof strike us as either prudish, psychobabble or downright demented. to list the top three:

1. we live in dobuy

2. we have carnivorous dietary habits

3. dk/cs

those who did approach us have been politely [we hope] told to buzz off as their descriptions of self and ideal mate are wild swings of fantasy and grevious injury to the language [text reproduced from a popular matrisite of which we are a paid member till today evening; italics ours]:

-          want a person of similar tests [physicist, iit]

 indeed – we are not so scholarly

-          i am simple living high thinking

such a ghastly name

-          i come from a close knit family

didn’t know ‘stitch in time saves nine’ referred to vasectomies…

-          i want smart looking descent man. the 2 are mutually exclusive- this is sheer fantasy

-          basically i’m loving. ah! and where were you all my life…?

-          looking for a honest guy. have you tried your local incarceration facility?

we thought our profile of the ideal mate was not so complicated – worldy, similar age bracket, more head than face and ready for what george washington called ‘the foundation of happiness or misery’. and we offer what no other man can offer – ourselves! plus bed tea, sarcastic sense of humour and a largish girth [thereby giving more to like].

so what gives??

dhow jones index - the burj khalifa

going over the top has a new meaning...


it dont get any bigger! we have seen it grow from a few metres to 828 metres, and that is something we shall tell the grandkids [not necessarily ours...].

thats what it looks like from the top...


and its cheaper to buy an apartment here than in bombay or delhi. just shows there's one every minute and that one is usually from the indies.


should plan a cuppa at the top though. anybody interested?

2010...

bienvenue
                         welkom             欢迎
مرحبا
                                         fáilte
willkommen                               karibu
                   selamat datang
         benvenuto                                  croeso
                                             chào mừng

2009... in a few words

fini finis
完成
klaar fertig  
انتهى
skončil gorffen
selesai
alimaliza
críochnaithe
hoàn thành

statement of the year!

Sir John Hunt, cabinet secretary during Margaret Thatcher's tenure:
“Mrs Thatcher will attend the summit as Prime Minister and not as a woman per se."


britspeak never fails!

glocal warming...

from bur(p) dobuy to south dobuy

we have moved.


the spice-scented, bazaar-like lanes of bur(p) dobuy will no longer resonate with the thumping feet of a hungry ba-xi in search of sustenance. for, like hillary, fiennes and mallory, we have ventured forth to newer climes and pastures fresh. south dobuy, or so-du, for the so-ho & so-bo wouldhavebeens.

the verdant, pastoral climes of discovery gardens now have an added charm - herbie and owner. we can be found of an evening pacing the paved paths of the mediterranean enclave [a throwback to imperium romanum...? see attached image].


more on the discovery in posts to come. regrettably the garden is sans eve. we sincerely hope this is but a temporary hiatus - vergio vestalis is not our idea of a pleasant state of being.


visitors welcome. with sustenance.

good intentions are no good!

why are we all getting our chaddis in a twist and wringing our hands that "i havent done enough to make my city safe"?


although well-intentioned, these sentiments are misplaced. the ordinary citizen of any place is NOT equipped to do anything in these situations. nor is he supposed to.


there are agencies, authorities and individuals mandated to police / guard / secure the city. what the ordinary joe or jane [or janardan, to be PC] can do is mount social / political pressure on these agencies to make them do what they are supposed to do.


but at the risk of sounding king-learish, we dont see much hope of large-scale cohesion in bombay - the good folks of the city can't even agree on what to call the city!!!

can we forget?

dobuy survival

now that we are a hardened veteran of nearly 4 years standing in dobuy, herewith a couple of nuggets distilled out of these 4 years:
1. come with money to pay for house rent advances. 2-4-6 aint the new size zero - thats the number of months for which a consolidated rent is demanded depending on the area. and not all companies plump up those kind of advances to new employees who still dont know the right end of a camel from the wrong 'un
2. make friends with at least 2 good real estate brokers. preferably indian. the goras are too spaced out to realise reality (we spoke today to one blonde sounding gal who quoted AED 70k for a studio - 'its in marina'. we are still faint with fright!)

home alone...

forgive us if we indulge in some more pontification on home and travails thereof. caused due to a misguided adventure in the wilds of dubai to a place aptly called 'discovery' garden. it truly had to be discovered - being in the nether region between dobuy and abu dhaba - and unlike eden, had neither eves nor snakes (like i care a dam). nearest laundry: 10 min drive. nearest grocery: 7 min drive. nearest restaurant: 15 min drive. networks not work. we were out like the proverbial scalded rabbit!


the flag shall hopefully continue to fly in bur(p) dobuy for now. visitors welcome!

from home to home

we were home last week. came back home yesterday. therein lies the current confusion in our mind - what, finally, is home? is home where you feel at home or is it where you wish you didnt have to leave from? bombay and dobuy for us throw up this conundrum regularly!


be that as it may, was nice to spend quality time with the parents and avoid all but one close friend. realised that friendship is quite transitory, especially with women. narrowly avoided cyclone phyan (who dreamed up that name?) and rediscovered the pleasure of mom's cooking (not just a song...). returned by biz class so felt rather CEO-ish briefly. spoilt the impression by watching delhi 6 (cant expect anything interesting from someone who spells 'rakesh' as 'rakeysh').


struck zero on the nuptials front. modern trends discourage ladies from going to heathen civilisations like dobuy. but hope burns eternal. now if only that damn shaadi.com membership gets reactivated chop-chop...


ahlan wa-sahlan!

signs of the times...

seen in a times report on the death of stephen gately: 

Mr Dochev, 25, said: "I found Stephen dead and I woke his husband..."

how will the species survive?

cross fertilisation

should i develop a new app called face blog...?

bedouin musings - journey from dobuy to abu dhaba

• dubai to abu dhabi 2 hours. abu dhabi to dubai 90 minutes. or does it seem that way to a homesick dubai fellagha...?
• the pleasure of driving along the expressway cannot be expressed in mere words. since we don't do poetry or other art forms, we shall have to let it pass. but the senses tingle...!
• dhabas needed en route. not mallu garbageterias. alu paratha better than malnese (mallu chinese).
• 2 maseratis, 7 lexus, 9 mercs and assorted minor autoroyalty along the way. we in our crv were like the royal elephant
• fm helps. own music helps more. the beatles, cliff richard, dire straits (no reference to the road), hotel california (on a dark desert highway is quite appropriate), the doors, bob dylan. also shiv kumar sharma, hari prasad chaurasia, nusrat, rahat and hariharan
• good company good. own company tolerable.

bonne conduite!

tracking two trains...

dhow jones index - the dobuy metro

and there you are:
- the world's 1st driverless metro
- the middle east's 1st metro network
- the world's newest rail network


however we will resist the urge to trainspot:
- our car is too new
- bombaywallahs have an inherent suspicion of new & roomy trains
- the camel-to-train transition is still in test mode
                                                      - the nearest station from our home / office is too far to walk to and too
                                                        close to drive to


                                                        but travel in it we will, for that familiar swaying feeling and for the view!

à table!

eid has happened today and our ehtiopia-like situation has been resolved. fasting for a month might seem like a good idea for a lot of people. good luck to them all. we need our 3 squares a day (as well as several other shapes in the course of a normal day). our rather circular silhouette bears testimony to this!


we are looking forward to the table groaning under the weight of viands, victuals and vin...

dobuy driving travails

we have been considering posting on the travails that gentlefolk go through in getting a driving license in dobuy. put it off till the piece o'plastic was safely in our wallet. now that it is, and we are wheeled (as it were), here goes:

1. driving schools in dobuy are a means to sponsor bollywood fraternal visits. fees for every little thing, which are thrown at one like pellets from an air rifle.

2. most instructors are from around the khyber pass and wouldnt recognise a metalled road if it hit them (or vice versa).

3. most training cars are nissan sunnys. which is like learning about sex from mills and boon.

4. no trainees are allowed on SZR. imagine the terror of a freshly blooded driver when he sets wheels onto this road and finds 6 lanes of sheer frenzy. statistically the maximum accidents in dobuy are on this road, caused by 1st timers crouched under the dashboard in utter panic.

5. 30 minute classes are of no use.

6. inspectors annotate the driving test sheet in arabic. getting someone to translate and then understand what "you drive loose" means is ulcer-inducing.

7. most driving schools are manned by folk from a certain island nation of south-east asia whose name is similar to that of the king-consort of england. these folks labour under an average iq of 2 and deserve to be flattened further.

more later. keep driving.

dobuy quirks

seen recently in dobuy. we werent aware that habits were advertised quite so openly. signs of badvertising? or is this a sign of big brother dictating, in a generally very tolerant oasis?

Bah! rain?!

well thats how the locals pronounce it!

we spent 2 days in the kingdom of bahrain. though we are no apologists for a monarchical system, 'kingdom of bahrain' does have a rather regal air to it. now if it would only rain there! a chilled beer would have gone down right nicely but alcobevs are off the market due to the current month. wonder how the us navy's fifth fleet is taking it... the indian influence seems stronger than in the uae - more indian brands visible for instance. no doubt due to a strong trading relationship with yonder shores since several hundred years. cant avoid the natives can we?! perhaps the next trip will be more useful and enriched with photography...

our first bought

this is herbie. our first bought. she has completed 1 month and has already stepped far and wide (2 trips to abu dhabi). this post also signals the start of an occasional series on driving in dobuy - from travails to travels. stay logged on.

culinary revolt

after nearly 3 years of palate bashing, we have finally decided to revolt against the overbearing presence in dobuy of cuisine from the malabar coast! never has food been so tortured as in this cuisine, and the agony is exacerbated by the utterly crude and undignified manner in which the staff of every restaurant of this region treat customers! the only redeeming feature of this heathen cuisine from a barbaric origin was its ubiquity and cost. good for a homesick malabar man but not good enough for us.

will anjan chatterjee please take note...

dilemmas, on horns of

we wonder if fb is the antithesis of a blog. we have logged more hours on fb than on our blog. and there have been noteworthy happenings here in dobuy... car, for one. and liberty of space and thought thereby.

of course the old excuse of too much work and too little screen time can, and will, be trotted out in our defence. so all ye who mutter dark threats under your breath, know that we were kin to samson / ben hur / uncle tom et al.

we will return on the morrow...

Why we like the Beeb...

so quoth the Beeb:

Some place names suffer from a form of irritable vowel syndrome, documented by linguistics experts as the Great Vowel Shift of the Middle Ages

Hindland!

the following item appeared in today's Gulf News here in DoBuy on the occasion of the Queen's 83^rd birthday: "…Authentic British fare was on offer including fish and chips, roast beef, bangers and mash and chicken tikka masala."

janmadin mubarak, ma'am!

culture conundrums

one of those quirky bits of information that pop up during one's late shift at work.
when you do a google.ae search for 'identical twins in dubai', the first 5 links talk about... camel twins!

wonder if the obsession with 'leggy young things' also has a different connotation in DoBuy...!?

and finally would macbeth have talked about the milk of camel kindness?

oxymoron of the day...

"corrective rape"
referred to in various media articles in recent days about the prevalance of this practise in south africa to 'cure' certain mating preferences.

and the south african government has obfuscated in classic style: "While hate crimes – especially of a sexual nature – are rife, it is not something that the South African government has prioritised as a specific project." (South Africa's national prosecuting authority )

nice.

quantitative easing

sounds like an enema for the financial system! robert cole of the times describes it as "A posh way of referring to the process of printing money. It is a horrible piece of jargon..." (http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/economics/article5753844.ece).

if only our personal financial woes could be solved as easily!

ides of march

for those readers misguided enough to wander past this blog! we refrained from posting out of sympathy for people's sensibilities. but we think that abstinence is a crime and hence we are back like hopeless addicts! besides after a month's holiday at home the batteries are supposed to be recharged and what better way to check than through a well drafted post...

Obamaguration

the defining soundbyte of the show: breathless BBC presenter to colleague:
"Rajesh he's getting out! President Obama IS getting out of his CAR".

whatever happened to the stiff upper lip...?

Merry New Year...!

Best wishes for a marvellous 2009!

Meilleurs voeux pour une excellente année 2009!

أطيب التمنيات للعام 2009 ممتازة

最良好的祝愿一个极好2009年

Beste wensen voor een uitstekend 2009

Beste Wünsche für einen ausgezeichneten 2009

Semoga yang baik 2009

I migliori auguri per un ottimo 2009

Brrrr DoBuy

Methinks Ski Dubai has been extended to cover the less-fortunate areas of DoBuy! Bur Dobuy is cold, windy, and grey. Not to mention like a pond thanks to the heavy rain (all of 5 mm) over the last 3 days.

Funny to see monkey caps, blazers, cardigans in sunny (?) DoBuy. This place can be quirky sometimes. Hailstorms in DoBuy!!

This kind of weather wont last. So we shall soak it in and store memories for oven-like days when we realise what a tandoori chicken feels like!

The redemption of advertising...

The profession actually has a patron saint!! Saint Bernardine of Siena: patron saint of advertisers; advertising; gambling addicts; public relations personnel; public relations work.

Now we know that the halo on our heads is not a targa file but the real McCoy!

Though not many people may know that advertising is actually spelt with an 'h' which is silent, so a saint is required to protect us from the curses of the hads.