death is a...breath-taking experience!

i recently joined the vast army of people on this planet who have lost their father. the loss could have been in different ways, with different timelines and with different reasons. but the end result is the same for all of us - there is a gap in our lives which will never be filled.

my father lived his life guided by 1 or 2 key principles from which he never deviated. the 1st was the importance of family in all matters. not just immediate family, but everyone connected by filial / sibling bonds. he was after all the 8th of 10 children of his parents and knew perfectly well the meaning and importance of "large family".

the 2nd principle was discipline in every life routine. there was a time and a place for everything, and everything had to have a time and place. deviations from this rule were just not accepted and woe betide he or she who was late or otherwise breached the rules!

he loved books, crosswords, cross words, black label and chess - hallmarks of an intellectual who could hold his own in any argument (as was expected of a man who had three degree and had became a lawyer by the age of 21 years).

a sharp mind, a sharp tongue and a very soft corner for his grandchildren and all other children of that segment, all made my father a much-loved patriarch of the clan. i used to be quite scared of him as a child but over the years our relationship matured into one of easy camaraderie, of a deep but unspoken love. he had many regrets, of opportunities missed (plenty of them), of giving up personal choices at the feet of "family first", but he never let on to anyone about them. stoicism was his middle name, and he bore with a fortitude and grace seen rarely, a lot of what an unforgiving life threw at him.

his passing left me without the chance to catch up with him of what he had been up to in the 18 months since i last met him. and also the chance to be by his side after nearly 2 decades away from home. he left us in the same way as he had lived his life - quietly, without fuss and with dignity. indeed a very breath-taking departure!

goodbye papa, and thank you for everything.