I have always wondered whether Tolkien meant "Lord Of The (Onion) Rings".
I have always been on the thin side of plump. Which means that I am not unhealthily thin or not-thin – just thinly plump. Call me thump. As a tot, as a child, as a bespectacled teen and as a bespectacled (now despectacled) adult, I always needed a larger-than-usual of everything, be it clothes, foods, shoes, or just my personal space. Strained midriff buttons, popped trouser bands and outgrowing belts faster than they could be upgraded were pastiches of a life lived for food. I was born large, and I just continued along the merry way. More of me to love and admire is how I see it.
I am a food lover (“foodie” is quite overused nowadays). I may not live to eat but I do believe that food (one of my favourite four letter words after “Baxi” and before “wine”) is meant to provide meaning to life. Growing up in a household and within a larger family context where food was treated with respect, and formed an important narrative in every gathering, I learnt to appreciate the nuances of food. I also learned not to have hangups about food, not to waste food, and appreciate that food habits varied within families, communities and even countries. I grew up swinging both ways where food is concerned and love potatoes as much as the steak that sizzles by their side. I even look kindly upon those people who go ecstatic over bitter gourd (karela for the natives)
So yes, food was, and is, an important construct in
my life. I am fairly easy-going as a person (thumps can’t afford to antagonise
anyone – we can’t run very fast) but woe betide the purveyor of
less-than-optimal food offerings. Many are the restaurants and individuals who
have got an earful from me for supplying provender that was fit only for
treasons, stratagems, and spoils. My online posts are full of diatribes against
restaurants who came within the measure of my wrath for giving bad food. (I
keep saying sorry to Bill but it’s all his fault for creating these words and
phrases.)
The chance to live in Paris was the acme of my quest for good food. I will refrain from getting too dense about the kind of food this paradise for gourmands offers. Suffice to say that I understood the true meaning of ambrosia while in this city of cities. My current domicile, Dubai, has exposed me to more food choices than the V & A has paintings. And let me not forget to mention Nigeria, where the food may not always be elegantly plated, but is hearty, bounteous, and cooked with a lot of love. And ferocious spices. A month in Hong Kong proved to me that one can eat whatever does not eat one. And the food choices within the native are worthy of a separate post. So, what does one do?
Returning to my grammage, I must confess to occasional frenzied bouts of efforts to drop the load. Growing up next to one of the largest open spaces in Mumbai should have been motivation enough to get going, but the mere sight of people in designer athletewear made me mildly nauseous. A popular gym near the house got my custom for a year but it was more for the interesting company and the sandwich guy at the gate. Ditto the Olympic-sized swimming pool. The taste of the “vadapavs” in the pool canteen continue to linger on the palate. I do get these bouts even today, but I have learnt to control them and channelise that urge towards better things. Like writing blogs about food. And reading food blogs.
I did have a phase where I actually dropped the grammage and discovered a jawline. Thankfully the phase was short-lived. I reverted to the “round is a shape” philosophy fairly quickly.
I do not for a minute intend to imply that eating per se should be the raison d’être of our existence. All I wish to say is that good food, like good books, good wine, and good company, does more for our physical, moral, and mental well-being than any exercise, yogic contortions or marathons.
After all, it’s a matter of perception. A V-shaped bod is good. No one said it shouldn’t be an inverted V shape. And “fat” is just one vowel away from “eat”…!
p.s.: you can read my earlier food posts here , here and here
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