Double-O Say When!

we scan the news of an afternoon, primarily to ward off post-prandial drowsiness. current headlines caught our attention:

latest news

FREIDA PINTO TO BE A BOND GIRL

 [elle uk, 22/3]
then the next headline came in:

Freida Pinto’s not the Bond girl…yet

[masala.com, dubai, 22/3]
felt fleeting sympathy for the pore gel. mean to say it cant be pleasant to be on the edge like this all the time! P is not to B? 007 we wait for confirmation, our pulse racing slightly...!


but we are quite amazed that this gal-next-door [chinchpokli not santa monica] has actually managed to reach this far on the strength of one movie [which we resolutely refuse to watch]. we are the last one to carp about looks but we might be driven to expand vociferously where this one is concerned. the rosetta stone looked better. and we thought that Mr. B preferred a certain high level of oomphiness in his female companions! we were further saddened to hear that FP is a l'oréal girl.


are there no standards anymore?

better latex than never...

read in the times: "...says Jagdish Upadhyay, who is in charge of managing condoms for the UNFPA". from m.d. to m.c. - stiff competition? could be useful for elections in china...! 
we only hope the gent is a user too!

got to have java now…

this is what oxford boffins do on their tea breaks [reported in the daily mail recently]:

if you are among those who desperately need a midmorning coffee break, then go for it at 11 a.m., as scientists claim a formula they have devised proves that 'elevenses' is the best time to drink your brew. the oxford university research also shows that a tasty americano is not the only requirement — lights, music, aroma and good company need to be added to the mix.

the experts developed the formula (M = 0.5 x F + (0.5 x E + 0.3 x P + 0.15 x C + 0.05 x T) by combining various factors such as great flavour (F) with the perfect environment (E), the container it comes in (P), who you drink coffee with (C) and the time of day you enjoy your coffee break (T) to create the most enjoyable coffee moment (M).

after applying this formula, the scientists calculated that 11am seemed to be the best time to have a coffee break, in a well-lit room with friends and nice music in the background.  prof. charles spence, from the department of experimental psychology at oxford university, who led the research, said: "the formula describes how to create the perfect coffee moment at home or at work. we have known for some time that our taste buds are a vital part of the taste experience. however, we can now pinpoint the exact sensory conditions required to enjoy coffee, or any other food and drink", he said.



thought the frogs would have got this first…!

ali in wonderland

we were thinking, and having thought, our twoughts [tweets in the mind] turned to this topic.


we do not presume to tinker with established literary output! however certain fables could do with a brush and touch-up, and lewis carroll would no doubt approve when we adapt his fable to a new-age 'foible', to wit dobuy…!


'tis truly a wonderland:

• world's tallest building
• world's largest indoor ski slope
• world's largest artificial islands
• world's most expensive hotel
• world's largest theme park
• world's largest shopping mall
• world's first underwater luxury resort
• and the clincher: the only city in the mena region with 2 baxis!

no wonder your average lad would feel lost in all this!

matrimo[a]ny

we are writing in angst, frustration and a large dollop of cynicism.

our attempts at converting the marital status of a deserving woman have so far come to nought. fair and not-so-fair eves have united in their unwillingness to link their lot with us and the reasons thereof strike us as either prudish, psychobabble or downright demented. to list the top three:

1. we live in dobuy

2. we have carnivorous dietary habits

3. dk/cs

those who did approach us have been politely [we hope] told to buzz off as their descriptions of self and ideal mate are wild swings of fantasy and grevious injury to the language [text reproduced from a popular matrisite of which we are a paid member till today evening; italics ours]:

-          want a person of similar tests [physicist, iit]

 indeed – we are not so scholarly

-          i am simple living high thinking

such a ghastly name

-          i come from a close knit family

didn’t know ‘stitch in time saves nine’ referred to vasectomies…

-          i want smart looking descent man. the 2 are mutually exclusive- this is sheer fantasy

-          basically i’m loving. ah! and where were you all my life…?

-          looking for a honest guy. have you tried your local incarceration facility?

we thought our profile of the ideal mate was not so complicated – worldy, similar age bracket, more head than face and ready for what george washington called ‘the foundation of happiness or misery’. and we offer what no other man can offer – ourselves! plus bed tea, sarcastic sense of humour and a largish girth [thereby giving more to like].

so what gives??

dhow jones index - the burj khalifa

going over the top has a new meaning...


it dont get any bigger! we have seen it grow from a few metres to 828 metres, and that is something we shall tell the grandkids [not necessarily ours...].

thats what it looks like from the top...


and its cheaper to buy an apartment here than in bombay or delhi. just shows there's one every minute and that one is usually from the indies.


should plan a cuppa at the top though. anybody interested?

2010...

bienvenue
                         welkom             欢迎
مرحبا
                                         fáilte
willkommen                               karibu
                   selamat datang
         benvenuto                                  croeso
                                             chào mừng

2009... in a few words

fini finis
完成
klaar fertig  
انتهى
skončil gorffen
selesai
alimaliza
críochnaithe
hoàn thành

statement of the year!

Sir John Hunt, cabinet secretary during Margaret Thatcher's tenure:
“Mrs Thatcher will attend the summit as Prime Minister and not as a woman per se."


britspeak never fails!

glocal warming...

from bur(p) dobuy to south dobuy

we have moved.


the spice-scented, bazaar-like lanes of bur(p) dobuy will no longer resonate with the thumping feet of a hungry ba-xi in search of sustenance. for, like hillary, fiennes and mallory, we have ventured forth to newer climes and pastures fresh. south dobuy, or so-du, for the so-ho & so-bo wouldhavebeens.

the verdant, pastoral climes of discovery gardens now have an added charm - herbie and owner. we can be found of an evening pacing the paved paths of the mediterranean enclave [a throwback to imperium romanum...? see attached image].


more on the discovery in posts to come. regrettably the garden is sans eve. we sincerely hope this is but a temporary hiatus - vergio vestalis is not our idea of a pleasant state of being.


visitors welcome. with sustenance.

good intentions are no good!

why are we all getting our chaddis in a twist and wringing our hands that "i havent done enough to make my city safe"?


although well-intentioned, these sentiments are misplaced. the ordinary citizen of any place is NOT equipped to do anything in these situations. nor is he supposed to.


there are agencies, authorities and individuals mandated to police / guard / secure the city. what the ordinary joe or jane [or janardan, to be PC] can do is mount social / political pressure on these agencies to make them do what they are supposed to do.


but at the risk of sounding king-learish, we dont see much hope of large-scale cohesion in bombay - the good folks of the city can't even agree on what to call the city!!!

can we forget?

dobuy survival

now that we are a hardened veteran of nearly 4 years standing in dobuy, herewith a couple of nuggets distilled out of these 4 years:
1. come with money to pay for house rent advances. 2-4-6 aint the new size zero - thats the number of months for which a consolidated rent is demanded depending on the area. and not all companies plump up those kind of advances to new employees who still dont know the right end of a camel from the wrong 'un
2. make friends with at least 2 good real estate brokers. preferably indian. the goras are too spaced out to realise reality (we spoke today to one blonde sounding gal who quoted AED 70k for a studio - 'its in marina'. we are still faint with fright!)

home alone...

forgive us if we indulge in some more pontification on home and travails thereof. caused due to a misguided adventure in the wilds of dubai to a place aptly called 'discovery' garden. it truly had to be discovered - being in the nether region between dobuy and abu dhaba - and unlike eden, had neither eves nor snakes (like i care a dam). nearest laundry: 10 min drive. nearest grocery: 7 min drive. nearest restaurant: 15 min drive. networks not work. we were out like the proverbial scalded rabbit!


the flag shall hopefully continue to fly in bur(p) dobuy for now. visitors welcome!

from home to home

we were home last week. came back home yesterday. therein lies the current confusion in our mind - what, finally, is home? is home where you feel at home or is it where you wish you didnt have to leave from? bombay and dobuy for us throw up this conundrum regularly!


be that as it may, was nice to spend quality time with the parents and avoid all but one close friend. realised that friendship is quite transitory, especially with women. narrowly avoided cyclone phyan (who dreamed up that name?) and rediscovered the pleasure of mom's cooking (not just a song...). returned by biz class so felt rather CEO-ish briefly. spoilt the impression by watching delhi 6 (cant expect anything interesting from someone who spells 'rakesh' as 'rakeysh').


struck zero on the nuptials front. modern trends discourage ladies from going to heathen civilisations like dobuy. but hope burns eternal. now if only that damn shaadi.com membership gets reactivated chop-chop...


ahlan wa-sahlan!

signs of the times...

seen in a times report on the death of stephen gately: 

Mr Dochev, 25, said: "I found Stephen dead and I woke his husband..."

how will the species survive?

cross fertilisation

should i develop a new app called face blog...?

bedouin musings - journey from dobuy to abu dhaba

• dubai to abu dhabi 2 hours. abu dhabi to dubai 90 minutes. or does it seem that way to a homesick dubai fellagha...?
• the pleasure of driving along the expressway cannot be expressed in mere words. since we don't do poetry or other art forms, we shall have to let it pass. but the senses tingle...!
• dhabas needed en route. not mallu garbageterias. alu paratha better than malnese (mallu chinese).
• 2 maseratis, 7 lexus, 9 mercs and assorted minor autoroyalty along the way. we in our crv were like the royal elephant
• fm helps. own music helps more. the beatles, cliff richard, dire straits (no reference to the road), hotel california (on a dark desert highway is quite appropriate), the doors, bob dylan. also shiv kumar sharma, hari prasad chaurasia, nusrat, rahat and hariharan
• good company good. own company tolerable.

bonne conduite!

tracking two trains...